Nice House, Shitty Mailbox v6

For those of you who arrived late, Nice House Shitty Mailbox is just like the title says. It’s about people who have nice houses (maybe not expensive, but ones that they obviously take pride in) but the crappiest mailboxes in existence. Mailboxes they found on scrapheaps or bought of E-Bay and had shipped via the craziest driver working for Crazy Dave’s Monster Truck Delivery Service. (Does that exist? I’d use it just to have a monster truck drive up my street and park out the front of my house, preferably on top of my neighbour ‘s car).

Anyway, without further ado, today’s episode is brought to you by “Plastic Buckets That Once Had Plaster (or something similar) In Them”.

3 bucket

I’m conflicted about this one. It’s a brand new house that has a plastic plaster bucket for a mail box. But it’s a brand new bucket too and they’ve obviously gone to a bit of effort to make it look nice and tidy…

Not so conflicted here. It's a bucket hanging crookedly on a star picket.

Not so conflicted here. It’s a bucket (hanging crookedly) from the side of a star picket. The slot is messy. The writing is messy. And the lid isn’t even on properly so the mail will probably fall out anyway.

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Nice House, Shitty Mailbox v.5

4 lichen

The obviously spend a lot of time working in the garden. they obviously need a bigger garden because they’ve taken to growing stuff on the mail box.

3 lichen

I’m lichen this one.

4 can

This is one of those ones that has gone past bad and become a work of art. I’d steal this letterbox, but I’m not sure it would suit our house.

Nice House, Shitty Mailbox v4

I know the idea of Nice House, Shitty Mailbox is… Well, like the title says. But sometimes mailboxes, for very different reasons, are works of art in their own right. There are three below.

WOA 1

This might actually classify as Nice House, Shitty mailbox. The house was terrible as well, but it was nowhere near the standard of shittyness achieved by the mail box. It might well be better to throw the letters on the ground.

WOA 2

Hmmm… Throw the letters on the ground? I think that happens automatically, right after you try to put them in the mailbox.

autumn mailbox 1

This one? I couldn’t see the house to make any judgments, but I loved the mailbox. I actually took about 5 pictures– this is the best my cheap phone could come up with.

Nice House, Crappy Mail Box v3

I’ve been flat out recently. We have moved house and I’ve been working longer hours and… Yeah, you’ve heard all the excuses. I haven’t done much writing at all and I am trying to, finally, get The Brightest Light ready for Print on Demand. So, while you all eagerly wait for that, here are some more mail boxes.

mailbox16

The mailbox isn’t all that bad, but the tomato stake that’s holdig it up makes it look… sad and lonely.

mailbox22b twins

The house you can see isn’t a palace, but it would have to be falling down to be of the same standard as the mail box. The second house was actually fairly nice but there were trees in the way. Two for the price of one though is always great.

mailbox25

Again, the house isn’t wonderful, but.. The mail box isn’t even facing the right direction. Give it a few months and that might not be a problem because you’ll just be able to use the letters to poke a hole through the rust.

Nice House, Shitty Mailbox v2

I thought I’d peaked a bit early with NHSM but the much loved feature is back for another round.

mailbox27 motorbike small

Okay this one may actually be pretty cool, but they could still fix the bike up a bit.

mailbox17 stool small

And there’s nothing wrong with this mailbox, I suppose, the post is the problem.

mailbox14 small

The letter box isn’t completely terrible ,but look at that lawn.

mailbox31 toolbox s,all

And this week’s winner… It may not be completely clear, but that’s an old plastic toolbox with a bungy cord holding it to the post. The house was beautiful.

Nice House, Shitty Mailbox

While I’m waiting for lots of people to realise how wonderful my books are (well, I don’t care if they think they’re wonderful at the moment, as long as they pay for them), or for James Cameron to buy the movie rights, I have to find other ways to make money. So, I find myself reading water meters. To do that, I have to walk past a lot of houses, funnily enough.

Something I’ve noticed– and found very funny– is how many times there are really nice house with really horrible letterboxes. There are houses worth $500k dollars with letterboxes that look like they’ve been found on the side of the road. Found on the side of the road then kicked a few times.

letterbox6 small

I had a witty caption here. Somebody stole it.

So, welcome to my new regular (well, you’ve seen my blog, maybe, so it’s hard to say ‘regular’ with a straight face) segment– Nice House, Shitty Mailbox. Catchy, isn’t it.

letterbox01 small

Right, can you see the problem with this one? The letterbox must have sentimental value.

The houses don’t necessarily have to be expensive, but they have to be well looked after.

So here are some that I saw today. Keeping in mind that they were taken on my crappy phone and I’m supposed to be working and there are obvious limits on composition.

Anyway, enjoy. Or ignore, if that’s what you like. But if you ignore this great post, you have to go and buy a book. No, seriously. That’s the rule.

letterbox02 small

How about this one? It’s fine if you leave to the left a bit.

letterbox7 small

And, today’s winner. But at least I can read the numbers.

And if you see any great shitty mailboxes, let me know. I love them.